A good heart has stopped beating, a good soul ascended to heaven. Someone rightly said when we lose a loved one here on earth, we gain an angel in heaven that watches over us.
I am writing this condolence notes with the memories of the past and extend my deepest sympathies to my very good friend, Krishna, who has lost his mother-in-law today. She was a wonderful person who I had the good fortune of meeting and spending time with. I will never forget the image of her gentle and bright face. Remembering her wonderful and gentle soul will forever remain in my heart. May God give her eternal rest !!!
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| Me & Aunty at ISKON Temple, Chennai |
Let me take you back to the time I met her. It was late December last year. When I had just shifted from Mumbai to Bangalore. I shared my accommodation for few months with my best friend, who was staying alone in a 2 BHK rented apartment. As It's not always easy to settle down immediately in a new town because there are always a whole lot of pain to start with household things again. Moreover, my friend wanted me to join him because he was staying alone in a big rented house and we haven't met each other for more than five years. So I agreed upon to join him.
One day, Krishna called me and said his mother-in-law and wife had the plan to come to Bangalore for a few days and asked me if it would be Ok with me if they stay with us, else he would make some other arrangements for them. I scolded and asked him what even made him think of asking such a question. It was obvious that they would stay with us as long as they were in Bangalore.
Krishna mother-in-law had been living in Chennai with her daughter i.e. Krishna's wife. Krishna's wife was working for an IT company in Chennai while Krishna my friend was working for another company in Bangalore.
Finally, the day came when his wife and mother-in-law were to come to Bangalore. I still remember the exact time when I met Aunty, it was quarter to seven in the morning. I greeted her "Namaste Aunty and she gave a big smile back and hugged me. She told me "I don't have a son and I will call you as my son here after." I was overwhelmed with an emotion as it was such a heart-touching moment for me. I was speechless but was able to nod and reply “Of Course Aunty !! You can call me anything that makes you happy.”
After a few hours chatting with her, I was shocked when she told me that she has been diagnosed with Cervical Cancer a few months ago and that it was in Stage 4. She explained the reason for visit, to Bangalore - she was to visit Shimoga, a famous place in Karnataka for Cancer Treatment, to consult an Ayurvedic Doctor. Her regular allopathy treatment would continue at Christian Medical College (CMC) Vellore, where the Cancer was initially diagnosed.
After hearing about the Cancer and how she described the whole thing, I was completely blank for a while. Somehow I could muster the courage and murmured "Don't worry, you are going to be fine very soon". Her next statement will always echo in my ears whenever I remember her, "No Beta!! Cancer has no answer. But I will certainly live a life as if nothing has happened to me. I don't want my loved ones to suffer because of something wrong happened to me.".
And I must say she did live a life like a lioness till her last breath. She fought this deadly disease like a great warrior on the battlefield. But we can't fight death.
From the first day I met her, she was always happy to talk to me. We talked for hours whenever my time allowed me to connect with her. Her daughter and son-in-law would both tease me asking "What is the special bond we guys have". They would tell me she is their mother and mother-in-law but she would never talk to them as much as she talks to me. All the time she talks something good about me. They would also tell me what kind of a magnetic charm I have. I would always smile back and say "Why don't you guys ask her ?".
Aunty would talk to me in different capacities, like a best friend, a guardian and a mother. She would advise me on many things and would always ask how things are going on the personal front. Her questions would vary from "Why don't you have a girlfriend?, When are you getting married, Do you want me to find someone for you?" to "I want you to marry and see your wife before I die". I would get to learn a lot about life from her.
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| Me, Aunty, Nidhi & Krishan |
Whenever, she, my friend, his wife and I would get-together, either here in Bangalore or in Chennai we would engage in a many a debates. Aunty always stood by me and never let others speak anything against me about anything. Sometimes she supported me on some topic where I couldn't justify something more logically or happen to lose my argumentative grounds. "So what ??? He said, means he is right". Later, we smiled at each other and I would thank her by saying "Thank you, Aunty !!". Her daughter and son-in-law always formed one group and wanted me to lose the debate. But aunty never let it happen. She supported me at times even without knowing the context of the debate. The rival group (her daughter and son-in-law) would start screaming "Mom !! you don't even know the context, yet you support him". Aunty would say I am her son and is not interested in knowing the context. She would support me all the time.
I still remember every single word that you spoke to me as an advice. How could I forget your exceptional sense of understanding human behavior? If someone would have spoken to her for less than an hour, she could have described everything of one’s past and future. And, once she would have got a sense of not being an honest and generous, none could dare to be around. I was fortunate enough that you liked me and allowed me to be around you. I can’t describe who you were, no matter how much I talk about you. It won’t be easy for me to forget the past.
Aunty's health started getting worse after July this year, as the frequency of chemotherapy increased with each subsequent month. The infection was spread to the whole body and all vital organs were almost stopped functioning. Last month, she called and asked me to come to Vellore to visit her at the Hospital and see her as it might be our last meet. Sadly, it turned out to be true and it was the last I would ever meet her in person.
I went to Vellore and stayed in the Cancer ward till quite late that night. Though the hospital administration doesn't allow any visitors to stay more than the designated time, that day I guess the hospital made an exception. Whenever I tried to return to my hotel from the patient ward and ask her "Aunty, it's too late. You should rest now." She would have tears in her eyes and say "I may not get to see you after this."
Her words would break me and I wouldn't dare to leave. She would further share that seeing me would make her pain go away. She held my hand and shared how much she loved her daughter and son-in-law and how much they took care of her. Yes, she was right! Both her daughter and son-in-law were working professionals but they took care of her without ever batting an eyelid. Great job guys !! I respect you both.
Until last December, I hadn't even known this great soul and now it is impossible to ever forget her. Sometimes, we meet a person for a very short period of time, but they leave the biggest of footprints in our lives. Aunty's kindness and love can never be matched.
Aunty !! You will always remain in my heart. Your love was unconditional, truer than most blood-relations, even. How I wish I could have met you once again.
A person that departs from this earth never truly leaves, for they are still alive in our hearts and minds and through us, they live on. My heartfelt condolences.
R.I.P !!!
With tears,
Sudarshan
